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  • Writer's pictureKip

Match Report

As you can see i have added a photo of the 3 Wise Men to Danielle Nicholas's report, only the donkey is missing, the real brains of the outfit.

Yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!! We are going to the Principality Baby.

The dairymen will play under the famous retractable roof of the Principality Stadium for the first time in their history, on the 30th April, after a titanic struggle ended with Llanharan finishing the stronger of the 2 teams and running out worthy winners in this WRU Bowl semi final.

In front of a sizeable crowd, the Dairymen produced a comeback Lazarus would have been proud of, against an Aberavon Green Stars team that had not lost all season.

The game started badly for the blue and blacks, as Fabio, stunt double, Scott Jones had his first kick of the day, charged down and from the resulting scramble for the ball, it bounced into the hands of a Stars player, who sprinted off to touchdown under the posts to leave an easy conversion.

The Stars lead was cut to 4 points as the captain and talisman, Scott, son of Kev, Jones, slotted a penalty, only for the Fighting Irish to display their dominance with a try which ripped apart the Llan defence.

Just to pour oil on to the fire and fan the flames, the ultra dependable and popular, Grizzly Adams lookalike, Lee Arthur, left the field with a head injury.

The Dairymen came back with another penalty from Mr Metronome. It was after that that Aberavon started to pull away, kicking another 2 penalties to lead at the half.

Score HT – Llanharan 6 – 18 Aberavon GS

After a first half which had been largely dominated in all aspects by the Stars, it was important that the Llan coaches get their message over in a clear and calm fashion . With that in mind, Gareth Nicholas looked around the changing room hurled his notepad into the shower and screamed f$*& for 1 and a half minutes. Andy Price adopted the fetal position and rocked back and forth for 10 minutes. With the clarity delivered from the coaches, Llanharan went out in the second half, a completely different team. After 10 minutes of pressure and continual bombardment, which was met by outstanding defence, Llanharan replacement centre, and all-round irritating human, Tom Preece, hit a sublime angle to score under the posts.

With the score at 13 – 18,it was all to play for. For the next 20 minutes, Llanharan piled on the pressure and everybody felt that something had to give. Strangely, the deciding score came from a rare Star’s visit into the Llan 22. Ross Pritchard, the baddest man since Peter Sutcliffe, but for totally different reasons, intercepted a pass and sprinted a full 75m to score under the posts. With the conversion to come the scores were tied at 18 all. Then as Mr Boombastic stroked the conversion through the uprights for Llan to take the lead for the first time, all the Llanharan supporters took their first breath since the start of the game

The icing on the cake was a penalty by the pelvic messiah with 3 minutes to go, to leave the final score

Llanharan 23 – 18 Aberavon Green Stars

Special mention must go to Ieuan Pring, Lloyd Gregory and Leon Burton, who, in the normal world resemble Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest, but on the rugby field, they constantly produce match winning performances

Andy Price celebrating the 5th birthday of the jar of mustard in his fridge stated, How can Gareth Nicholas be so knowledgeable at such a young age?

Clinton stated – will you teach me how to rugby?

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