top of page
  • Writer's pictureKip

Abercarn Match Report

There was rumour going around that Gareth wasn't going to enlighten us any more with his words of wisdom i.e. his match reports. When this report didn't arrive before tea time, i was thinking of getting a petition together to get our "Star Writer" back on board. But i should have known he wouldn't let his adoring public down. Thanks also to Shenkin and Derrick for giving him the ammunition to get his creative juices going again:

Match Report V Abercarn Division 3 cup 15th October 2023

After another 4 tries to nil victory by the Dairymen, cardboard shoulders Preece and Montecalo playboy, Shenkin, took half an hour, of their own time, to explain to me where the team is going wrong. These rugby visionaries have mastered the art of circular breathing and therefore, do not need to pause to take a breath. I can honestly say, it is half an hour f my life, I will never get back.

Meanwhile, on the pitch, there was a serious threat of a game of rugby breaking out. However, the referee was not about to let that happen. He displayed his knowledge of the rules by blowing his whistle at regular intervals (very regular).

In a largely frustrating game, which was punctuated by the referee’s whistle, Llanharan’s usual fluid game, was not permitted establish its self and all credit must go to the players for not losing their self control.

A special mention must go to Ieuan Williams, who has proved himself to be an excellent and versatile recruit. He has now played in the front row, second row and back row, all in the space of 6 weeks. Not only has he played in these positions, he has also excelled. His father, who is very proud stated “He is doing well for a boy who still sleeps with the light on and has his mother cut up his meat”

Yes, Mr sugar and spice and all things nice, had another points fest, scoring the 1st try and slotting the conversion for Llanharan to take the lead 7-0. However, his try celebration of the funky chicken needs work.

Morgan Parsons who capped his best performance in a Llanharan shirt with a brace of tries, showing, strength and determination to bundle his way over on both occasions. From the height and euphoria of bagging a couple of tries, he then plummeted to the depths of despair by being carried off the field of play suffering from cramp (that well known killer condition)

The last try was scored by the beef burger brothers, Ieuan Pring and Leon Burton. Carrying a spare tyre they may be, but their ability to work together to score from the back of a scrum is similar to the way Margaret Thatcher helped the South Wales miners to a life of prosperity

A big thank you must go to Tom Jenkins, but I haven’t got time

Some quotes heard from the management

Derek Cashmore “Can’t stop now, gotta make the chippy before they run out of fish fingers”

Kevin Jones “I know what I want, and I want it now, I want you, cause I’m Mr Vain.

Andy Price on the 2nd anniversary of his successful treatment for Scabiosus, stated “Well done Scott, those shorts look fab on you”

118 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page