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Cardiff Quins Match Report

This is Gareth's report on the Cardiff Quins game.

Match report V Cardiff Quins 8th October 9, 2022

Llanharan took full advantage of a struggling Quins team to post their highest score, in the league, since the reign of Henry VIII. It turned out to be a very clinical and professional performance, that owed as much to shape and organization, as it did to individual skill.

The try scorers can be see on the official write up, but I would like to draw attention to the following –

Lewis Cogbill at 12 years of age celebrated the onset of puberty, by putting in a Man of the Match performance, showing his versatility and skill, playing at both 9 and 10, and excelling at both. He celebrated his first try for Llan, plus 3 conversions out of 3, by chugging a whole can of Dandelion and Burdock , and eating 3 bags of Jelly Tots. Unfortunately his mummy and daddy had to take him home, because he had become too excited and made himself ill.

A debut was given to another player who is not old enough to grow a beard. Flanker, Owen Davey, nephew of the side of the mouth talker, and mustachioed club legend, Chris Davey, played his first league match. Coming on for the final 30 minutes, he showed great promise.

On the other side of the age spectrum, a superb performance was put in by 54 year old, grandfather, Jay Fletcher, who was tempted out of retirement by the club’s promise to install a Stenna Stairlift. Not only did he excel in the scummage, but by a strange quirk of fate, he found himself up with play, received the ball with 5 to go, and set off like a sloth chasing a grape, to bundle over and score a well deserved try.

Other mentions must go to Scott Jones who slotted 7 out of 7 conversions, before leaving the field after suffering a debilitating grass stain to his shorts.

Recent returnee, Harley Thomson capped an outstanding performance with 2 incidents of comic genius. The first was the most blatant penalty witnessed by any Llanharan supporter. He not only went off his feet at a tackle situation, but performed a perfect swallow dive on the way. Secondly, was the attempted conversion, which can only be likened to Tom Jenkins attempts to throw back ball in the line out.

Derek Cashmore was overheard saying “put me in coach, I can rugby”

Club legend, Kev Jones began each sentence he spoke with “during the war”

Andy Price, on the 56 anniversary of having his tonsils out, stated “why do we always play in Black and Blue"

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