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  • Writer's pictureKip

Match Report

Llanharan V Cardiff Met

Here's Enid Blyton's (Gareth Nicholas) latest match report.



This appeared to be a day when all the stars collided. On a warm, sunny day, in the picturesque village of Llanharan, the home grown squad, played in a free flowing, exciting game of rugby which entertained the sizeable crowd and displayed the talents of both teams.

Although the scoreline suggests an easy win for the dairymen, the Cardiff Met side played with flair and talent and each player ensured their own personal standards remained high.

However, the truth is, Llanharan produced their best performance of the season to record their 8th consecutive win, and played some very attractive and controlled rugby to score 8 tries.

Jack Pring, in his usual “smoother than snail shit” manner, produced his best game of the season, resulting in 3 tries. However his touchdown celebration looked less like the “Icky shuffle” and more like the “hospital, walking frame shuffle.”

Ieuan Pring capped a man of the match performance, by adding a brace of tries and when interviewed on television on the final whistle, stated that he was going to celebrate by watching the box set of the Dukes of Hazard”, while his mother cuts up his food.

Playing on permit was Morgan Jones, who was outstanding in both attack and defence. A product of Bridgend College, he had an unerring ability to do the right thing at the right time. Taking time out of his busy schedule, where he designs and makes his own clothes, Morgan crossed for 1 try and set up several more by his strong running and accurate passing.

Once again Scott Jones, living his life like a Roman Emperor , had a good day with the boot, and just to prove he is more than a kicker with a flawless tan and tight shorts, he spotted a gap, timed his run to perfection and scored a well worked try.

Llanharan’s dominance, was rewarded with a penalty try which I credit to Bill Carey. He was nowhere near up with play, but that’s the closest he’s going to get to scoring while he is in the boiler house.

The other try was scored by Rhys Dauncey, who is rapidly becoming the rock star of the greater Llanharan area and when walking with is partner, they are often mistaken for Posh and Becks.

While it was great to see Llanharan perform so well it was equally good to see some new faces, step up to the mark. Reece on the wing, Will at loosehead and Morgan at centre. Well done. It was also great to see Lee Davies back in the fold and Tom Preece returning after a long injury

While very often, a friendly in the middle of the season is an oxymoron, this game was played in great spirit and I would like to wish Met all the very best for the rest of the season.

Team manager Clinton, stated how important it is to stay grounded and keep the train rolling forward, but did not finish the interview, stating that he was buried under a mountain of things he had to do. Things that nobody knows about, but involves the removal of a brush.

Assistant coach – Andy Price, celebrating the fifth anniversary of his gender reverse operation, said in response to Clinton, “I like trains”


FT

Llanharan 57 – 21 Cardiff Met

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