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  • Writer's pictureKip

Match Report

Here's the Match Report from the master of suspense himself, Gareth Nicholas.

Before the match report, I would like to offer sincere condolences to the family of Joe Davies, the father of our team manager Clinton, who passed away on Saturday morning. Joe worked tirelessly for the Llanharan RFC and was a huge presence at the club, going out of his way to make me feel welcome. His kindness towards me will not be forgotten. RIP

What a game. This was the ultimate “winning ugly” experience, against a talented and well organized Swansea Uplands team, that had lost only once before this season. If you put all the worst features of Will Thomas, Gethin Cashmore and Brandon Nelson together, it still doesn’t match the ugliness of the win. It an only be matched by the shirt worn by Merion Reynolds, after the game.

This WRU Bowl Quarter Final match saw Llanharan book a place in the semi final despite playing half the game with 14 players, due to 4 dubious yell cards.

The game started at a frenetic pace and saw Llanharan come close to scoring, but for all the home side’s efforts, they could not cross the line and each attack was met by stout defence by Uplands. After 10 minutes of concentrated bombardment of the Swansea team’s line, the dairymen had to be content with 3 points scored by “the man with the tan” Scott Jones.

However, the majority of the 1st half belonged to Swansea Uplands, as they kicked two penalties to lead 3 – 6. Then came the baffling penalty try and yellow card given to constable Jones. After performing a try saving tackle, where he gave no concern for getting his kit dirty, he hit the ensuing ruck with all the power of a gnat hitting a windscreen, only to be given a yellow card. This took the score to 3 – 13.

However there were glimpses shown by the dairymen that they were not going to sit back and defend while down to 14. They gained field position and battered away at the Uplands line like a blind man wielding a sledge hammer. All their hard work came to fruition as Barney Rubble (aka Lee Arthur) Proved why he is his parents’ favorite Llanharan player, and crashed over to leave, stand in kicker and resident evil, Ross Pritchard an easy conversion; which he promptly missed. The kick resembled my grandmother kicking a deflated rugby ball, in her old slippers. Score 8 – 13, at half time.

Directly after half time, came the game changer. A strike move orchestrated by Ieuan Pring, saw Ryan Russell split the defence wide open and beat the last defender to force his way over for a try, to bring the scores level. The conversion by George Hamilton look alike, saw Llan take the lead, which they never lost. Further penalties by the chocolate boy increased the lead and saw the dairymen into the semi final.

What needs to e mentioned s the yellow card situation. Bill “the hammer” Carey who lives his life by the “if you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space” finally slipped off the edge (no surprise). However, Lloyd Gregory was shown yellow for looking like he was going to make a late tackle.

Credit must go to Jordan Hughes (the boiled egg) who gained his nickname because 5 minutes and he’s done. Sprinted onto the field in his best “Carpe Diem” fashion, only to be sin binned immediately. It does not bode well for Jordan’s partner that he finishes so quickly

During this time of celebration, we should spare a thought for Kev Jones, who is recovering in hospital, having almost lost the sight in his right eye when a button from Merion Reynold’s shirt gave up the fight to stay attached to M R’s shirt and shot off as he sat down. The offending button caught Kev in the eye, resulting in possible permanent damage

Andy Price, celebrating the third anniversary of the fitting of his gastric band stated – I learn something from the genius Gareth Nicholas every day, yesterday hetaught me to spell my name.

This is an old photo of Gareth, he looks much older in real life.

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