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Match Report Cardiff Quins Game

It's been a long wait but here's John Grisham's latest novel, straight off the press.

After an 8 week lay off, in what is becoming a fractured season, Llanharan hit the ground running with a 6 try win over a plucky Cardiff Harlequins side, which got our league season up and running. On a grey and damp day, not conducive to high tempo running rugby, Llanharan produced some scintillating rugby, by both backs and forwards, which was optimized by the first try, coming barely 3 minutes into the game, scored by the impressive Lloyd Gregory, who, despite having the inside leg measurement of an emperor penguin, displayed a skill set which most international flankers would be hard pushed to match.

Lloyd started the game at 7, but moved to outside half after an unfortunate injury to Lloyd Thomas, who in his first start at 10, was controlling the game with incandescent gusto, when he was involved in a collision which resulted in, what appeared to be, a serious knee injury. Get well soon Lloyd.

Most of the rest of the 1st half was punctured by the referee’s whistle and ill discipline by Llanharan. This denied the Dairymen both possession and territory. However, every time the game was allowed to flow, Llan looked exciting and dangerous.

Late in the 1st half, a length of the field move, tore the Quin’s defence apart leaving a walk in try for Alex Newbold. It would have been a walk in if Tom, “contact adhesive” Preece, had passed the ball. The usually calm Kevin Jones, was seen to scowl, which has never been seen before (everyone knows that facial expressions lead to wrinkles and premature ageing). Don’t worry Kev just apply that moisturizer!!!!!

The second try for the dairymen came just before half time with Louise Stansbury muscling his way over for the first of his 3 tries. Louise came off the bench early due to the unfortunate injury to Lloyd Thomas. He can mostly be described as “the person you would least like to welcome into your house as your daughter’s new boyfriend”. However, he knows the way to the try line and takes no prisoners on the way. He capped a strong performance with a further 2 tries, which made up for his yellow card.

In the middle of the hat trick came a well worked try, ending in penguin boy spotting the gap in the defence and going over, untouched. Lloyd Gregory had a wonder game, playing at 10 for the majority of the game and running the show with extravagant between the legs passes or behind the back passes. Such was his performance that the chocolate boy, and all round narcissist, Scott Jones, must be concerned for his place.

The final try was scored by Jack Dauncy, playing in the second row. His short range effort, capped a strong performance, which was cheered on by the entire family, as always.

Taking over the kicking duties was Ross Pritchard, whilst his kicking from hand was sound, his attempts at converting the 6 tries were reminiscent of a one legged man trying to kick a cow up the arse. However , the rest of his game is outstanding.

While on the subject of outstanding. There were excellent performances all round the park but some players deserve special mention:

·Ieuan Evans – who dominated the lineout, before going off, because he had mud in his hair.

·Ieuan Pring who led the pack with intelligence and a “follow me” attitude. Never have I seen a more explosive 8 off the base of the scrum.

·The 2 loose heads, Will Tomas and Andrew Deabreu, both on debut, who destroyed the Quins scrum. And appeared to enjoy doing it

·Finally, Lee Arthur, who although he looks like Barney Rubble after he has been on a 3 day bender, took over the captaincy and ran with it, leading by example and giving insightful and intelligent encouragement.

Andy Price, (coach) who missed the wedding of two of his cousins (to each other) to be at the match stated – it is fantastic to have an armchair ride for the backs each week , which is provided by Gareth Nicholas’s forwards.

Team manager Clinton, stated “I thought the sausages were under cooked”

Final score

Cardiff Quins 0 – 36 Lanharan

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