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Match Report Penlan

Here's the latest report from Gareth Nicholas. Thankfully he's given the oldies a break this week:

The 22nd of January 2022 saw all the hard work, put in on the training field, pay off. It was the day that the new Llanharan side laid to rest some demons of the past and showed a ruthless edge, scoring 83 points and showing some aspects of play which would impress many premiership coaches.


The Dairymen swept aside a plucky, but very much outgunned, Penlan team. The names of the scorers are in the above write up, so will not be covered here, but worth mentioning is the 33 point haul, scored by wanna be sex god, Scott Jones. Scott wearing his tailored and modified shorts provided by wow cosmetics (he has a W on the back of each leg of his shorts, so when he bends down to score he advertises the company), started so badly he couldn’t kick a cow up the arse. However, he soon got into his rhythm and totally controlled the game.


Another player who’s standards are always high, is Yosemite Sam look alike, and full time wabbit hunter, Lloyd Gregory. He and his back row colleagues of Bill Carey and Ieuan Pring, can mix it with any back row outside the regions.


Jack Dauncey, or the white John Coffi, is getting better every game. His ball handling ability has never been questioned, but he is becoming a destructive scrummager and a proving a very good attacking runner.


Commiserations must go out to Joe Post, who is in the middle of radiotherapy at the moment. He not only has to go through gruelling medical treatment but also has to endure Clint 24/7 because the family are isolating. It cannot be fun crying yourself to sleep every night. Get well soon


Barney Rubble look a like (Lee Arthur), capped a strong running performance by not scoring again, a habit he has perfected, and is probably the most consistent part of his game. Meanwhile, his co centre, Lucifer Pritchard, can’t stop scoring, as he weighed in with another 3 tries. As Lee plays outside Ross are we beginning to understand why Lee never crosses the whitewash?


It was nice to see Ryan Russell watching the game. His transfer had not come through in time, however, he will be ready for next week. Ryan is very deceptive, he s not as strong as he looks, but is like shit off a stick fast. Ryan is a product of Bridgend College and Head Coach, GN is delighted to be reunited with him


The reward for winning yesterday’s cup match is a trip to “the Buns”. This is the only team to have beaten Llanharan and it is a very exciting chance to gain catharsis (yes, look it up) for our only below par performance this year


Andy Price, celebrating the15 anniversary of the last time anybody saw his teeth when he smiled stated “I do not k now how Gareth Nicholas makes everything look so easy, he is a rugby visionary”


Clint the team manager stated “does anybody know what nights we train?


Full time score 83 - 17



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